NOTHING

We’ve all got that certain someone in our life and, no matter how hard you try and/or whatever you do, NOTHING makes them happy.  Now you can piss them off even further with absolutely NOTHING!

NOTHING by More Abuse Enterprises makes a great novelty gift or break-up present. It's perrfect for Anniversaries and Valentine's day.  

Give 'em NOTHING! for NOTHING make 'em happy.  

Comes with CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY and Personalized Note.

Proudly MADE IN THE USA, GLUTEN FREE & ORGANIC.

Get your NOTHING now while supplies last.

NOTHING! from the mind of Matt Devlin. Demand the original. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUES!

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See what the people are saying: 

"I was desperate to pick a fight with my boyfriend and NOTHING was perfect! If he wasn't hung like a Water Buffalo I'd have dumped him years ago.  This gift helped me pretend to assert dominance and let him know that his wild expectations are becoming unbearable."  - Dave Raphel, Scitaute MA

"J.D. was just ordered to purchase 214 of the EXTRA MEDIUM sized NOTHING for all the miserable, low IQ Democrats in Congress.  FIVE STARS!"                                                        - PRESIDENT DJT

"This kind of backfired.  My old lady loved it.  We had a hot  XXX session in the back of the mini-van while the kids were at Ju-Jitsu"  ANONYMOUS

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What you actually get:  1 portion of NOTHING, 1 Certificate of Authenticity and 1 personalized note delivered to you or someone else.  

Personalized Note: we make this up as we go and might consider editorial suggestions from you,  the client, if we recieve it in a timely manner.  Send us a DM or something.  Otherwise trust us.  

WARNING  

This product is NOT A SAFE ALTERNATIVE to spending zero dollars on a gift for those Martyrs in your life who want to saddle you with the burden of not getting them anything (which is a fucking power play, really) and this gift will likely yield destabilized results.  That said, Safe Alternatives are rarely exciting so do whatever the hell you want.