{"product_id":"nothing","title":"NOTHING","description":"\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eWe’ve all got that certain someone in our life and, no matter how hard you try and\/or \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003ewhatever you do, NOTHING makes them happy.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none white-space-prewrap\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eNow you can piss them off even further with absolutely NOTHING! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eNOTHING by More Abuse Enterprises makes a great novelty gift or break-up present.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003e It's perrfect for Anniversaries and Valentine's day.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eGive 'em NOTHING! for NOTHING make 'em happy.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eComes with CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY and Personalized Note.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003eProudly MADE IN THE USA, GLUTEN FREE \u0026amp; ORGANIC. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eGet your NOTHING now while supplies last.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eNOTHING! from the mind of Matt Devlin. Demand the original. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUES!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e------------------------------------------------------\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eSee what the people are saying: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e\"I was desperate to pick a fight with my boyfriend and NOTHING was perfect! If he wasn't hung like a Water Buffalo I'd have dumped him years ago.  This gift helped me pretend to assert dominance and let him know that his wild expectations are becoming unbearable.\"  - Dave Raphel, Scitaute MA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e\"J.D. was just ordered to purchase 214 of the EXTRA MEDIUM sized NOTHING for all the miserable, low IQ Democrats in Congress.  FIVE STARS!\"                                                        - PRESIDENT DJT\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e\"This kind of backfired.  My old lady loved it.  We had a hot  XXX session in the back of the mini-van while the kids were at Ju-Jitsu\"  ANONYMOUS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e------------------------------------------------------ \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eWhat you actually get:  1 portion of NOTHING, 1 Certificate of Authenticity and 1 personalized note delivered to you or someone else.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003ePersonalized Note: we make this up as we go and might consider editorial suggestions from you,  the client, if we recieve it in a timely manner.  Send us a DM or something.  Otherwise trust us.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e WARNING \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eThis product is NOT A SAFE ALTERNATIVE to spending zero dollars on a gift for those Martyrs in your life who want to saddle you with the burden of not getting them anything (which is a fucking power play, really) and this gift will likely yield destabilized results.  That said, Safe Alternatives are rarely exciting so do whatever the hell you want.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"cvGsUA direction-ltr align-start para-style-body\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"MORE ABUSE","offers":[{"title":"DRUG BAGGIE","offer_id":52197881610521,"sku":null,"price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"EXTRA MEDIUM","offer_id":52197881643289,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"JUMBO YO","offer_id":52197881676057,"sku":null,"price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"DELUXE FANCY","offer_id":52197881708825,"sku":null,"price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0835\/6170\/9849\/files\/NOTHING_1.png?v=1775322092","url":"https:\/\/moreabuse.com\/products\/nothing","provider":"MORE ABUSE","version":"1.0","type":"link"}